the Littlest Snowflake
by TopazStars
Summary: When Caitlin finds out she's pregnant with Savitar's child, she's devastated. That, however, isn't her only problem. Killer Frost is slowly resurfacing, but not in the way she expected. How can Caitlin return to Team Flash with two new secrets? And when she's forced to come home, how will they react? (Snowbert eventually)
1. Chapter 1

**Hey guys! So, this is an AU in which Savitar DID accept Team Flashes help. After curing him, Team Flash sent him to another Earth with no doppelganger. Barry is NOT in the Speedforce in this fic and Caitlin still left right after the funeral, and that's where this picks up.**

Caitlin's cell phone chimed loudly, just as it did every morning when Cisco sent her an update on Team Flash. She cursed under breath, exhausted. For some reason, her closest friend hadn't been able to accept her wish and leave her alone. Alone to "Find herself". It had been the quickest excuse she could come up with, but all she really wanted was to have her friends back. Her _family_. But that just didn't seem as if it were meant to be. She got up from the ratty motel bed and padded towards the closet. The doors were tall and had mirrors on them. She watched her reflection, taking in the blonde hair, pale skin, and tired expression. She looked liked a total stranger. Turning so that her side was facing the mirror, Caitlin could see the slightest hint of a bump in her stomach. She dreaded the day it became obvious. Her phone chimed again, and with a sigh she checked it. It was Cisco, of course. Asking her how she was and what she was doing, but more importantly, _where_ she was. She couldn't tell him that, now could she? No. He couldn't know. None of them could know the real reason she left. The fact that she was pregnant with Savitar's child absolutely killed her, and she knew it would only push everyone else further away. She shivered, imagining their disgusted glares as they threw her out. She knelt down beside her suitcase, picked a simple outfit of skinny jeans a white tank top, and began brushing her hair. It had been a while since she used her powers, and so her hair was more of a strawberry blonde. Not pure white anymore, but not its natural auburn color either. When she returned from applying makeup in the tiny bathroom, she picked up her phone. _11_ missed messages from Cisco. She shook her head, unable to bring herself to check them. Instead, she grabbed her purse, and headed out.

 _'You have to face them some time'_ Killer Frost said, a soft echo at the back of Caitlin's mind.

 _Leave me alone!_ Caitlin's head hurt as Killer Frost weakly pushed towards the surface. After losing the fight with Caitlin and being shoved back into the darkest recesses of her mind, Killer Frost had lost her strength. Caitlin feared the day it returned.

 _'Just some free advice...'_

 _I don't want your advice! I don't want anything from you!_

"Ma'am?" Caitlin snapped back into reality. She was in a small cafe, the same one she went to every morning since leaving.

"Sorry, lost in thought," Caitlin chuckled nervously, "I'd uh... just like a small coffee."

"Coming right up!" The barista eagerly got to work. Caitlin moved towards a table, sitting down and staring out the window. Absentmindedly, a hand moved to her belly.

 _What if it's a mini you..._ Caitlin thought, prodding Killer Frost's consciousness.

 _'I'm not a fortune teller, Snowflake. I don't know'_ Killer Frost grumbled. The thought of giving birth to a little Killer Frost devastated her. To hold her baby for the first time and see silver glowing eyes stare right back up at her... would be heartbreaking. Her baby didn't deserve the pain that came with the powers it might receive...

"Cait!" A voice shouted as the cafe door swung open. She froze as footsteps neared her seat. That voice was all to familiar.

 _Barry?_ She cringed. Would they notice?

"Caitlin!" This time it was Cisco's voice as his hand landed on her tensed shoulder. She whirled around, panic evident in her face.

"Wha- what are you doing here?" She stuttered.

"Well, you left me no choice! I tracked your cellphone-"

"I told you to leave me be!"

"Yes, but its about Julian!" Cisco said, and Caitlin's heart sank.

 _Julian... he would be crushed if he found out..._

"What happened?"

"There was an accident... There was a shooting at CCPD. He was shot." Barry said, more calmly than Cisco. Caitlin stiffened.

"Is- is he okay?!" Yes, Caitlin had left, but she still cared very much for him. He was better off without her, of course, but she still missed him.

"He's in the hospital, but it was bad. We tried texting and calling but you weren't answering and... we had to tell you." Cisco said.

"When was this?"

"Yesterday."

"And you're just telling me now?!" Caitlin gasped. He could have died and she wouldn't have even known. She shuddered, unable to even think about that.

"Please, Cait, come home." Barry pleaded, and she saw a familiar look in his eyes. That look of _hope_. The guilt weighed her down like a ton of bricks. She had betrayed them. She had betrayed _all_ of them. And still they wanted her back.

 _'Go back to them'_

 _Why do you suddenly care?!_

"Well," She looked at their hopeful faces, "I can try." A look of relief and joy took over their expressions, but she couldn't relate. This wasn't safe. The longer she stayed, the bigger she would become. It was too late, though, to take back her agreement, for she was already being pulled out of the cafe. The Barista looked up from her work.

"Ma'am, You're coffee is ready!"

 **Sorry, its a short first chapter, but I just want to see what y'all think before continuing! I'm new to this site and this is my first story here, so please leave suggestions and feedback in the comments! Until next time! :D**


	2. Chapter 2

The stench of hospital cleansers and sterilizers assaulted Caitlin's nose. She had been gone long enough to forget the potent smell. The drive to the hospital with Cisco had been long, silent, and _awkward_. She refused to begin a conversation, and he didn't push her. Barry had been waiting in the lobby when they arrived, his super speed had gotten him there in seconds. He gave Caitlin a reassuring look as she raced back towards the ER, ignoring the protests of nurses telling her to sign in.

"Julian?!" She rushed into his hospital room, eyes frantically landing on him. Their eyes me, and she immediately regretted leaving. He looked absolutely awful. he was sickly pale and his eyes had dark bags under them. They way he laid there in bed was awkward and she knew he was in a lot of pain. If she had the proper equipment, if she were still at STAR labs, she could have treated him much better than the doctors he had seen.

"I should have been here..." She murmured. Cisco put his hand on her quivering shoulder.

"You couldn't have known."

 _I couldn't have known because I wasn't here..._ Caitlin wanted nothing more than to go back in time and change _everything_. She felt as if every move she made was a mistake that may lead to an even worse fate than what she had already received.

 _'You need to let this go, Snowflake. All this guilt... you're only hurting yourself'_ Killer Frost sighed.

 _Quiet. This is both our faults. Yours for existing and mine for letting you._ Caitlin walked forward on wobbly legs, dismissing Killer Frost's hurt grumblings. She took Julian's hand in hers and gave it a gentle squeeze.

"Hey," She whispered, "How are you?"

"I've been shot. How do you think I am?" Julian snapped. She looked away, unsure of where they stood in terms of their relationship. If he ever found out, she was sure that would be the end of it. She had gotten pregnant by another man. A man who happened to be the future version of her best friend who was _engaged_. She was still trying to wrap her head around that. Savitar had offered her more than her friends ever had. He offered to accept her when she didn't even want to accept herself. He offered her peace, and she had jumped at the chance. When they grew closer in that warehouse, only having each other for comfort, she had seen him for the broken man he was. He had confided in her and she had done the same. Her heart ached for him, she had fallen in love with this gentle side of him, so when he kissed her for the first time, she couldn't resist.

"I'm so sorry..." She said, apologizing not only for leaving, but every mistake she'd ever made in their relationship. Kidnapping him, bringing him on the team, going on dates, lying about the philosophers stone, and having a baby that was most definitely _not_ his.

"Are you back now? For good?" He asked, tone different. It was softer, kinder. He seemed to worry that the slightest mistake would spook her and she was disappear again.

"I..." Caitlin looked back at Cisco who stood in the door frame, Barry behind him, "I don't know. I can't answer that right now." She said, and Julian nodded, knowing he shouldn't push. That was her final answer and she was sticking to it. She couldn't commit herself to a promise she wouldn't keep. She would have this baby, abortion was never an option, and they couldn't be there. She would raise it alone and never have to see their disgusted faces directed at her or her child.

"Cait, we should go. Let him rest." Barry said quietly. It was true, after surgery and all he had been through, the patient was already passing out. Caitlin smiled a small smile, nodding her head, and following her friends.

"So, back to STAR Labs?" Cisco asked, and it was meant to be casual, but his not so subtle look at Caitlin gave away his true intent. With a forced smile, she nodded. She was in too deep.

 _He wanted to know if we would come._ Caitlin felt sick to her stomach as she hopped into the car. She was nervous. Coming back with them had been a _huge_ risk _._ Probably a mistake.

 _'Of course he does. He's your best friend and he's persistent'_ Killer Frost responded.

 _You suddenly care... what happened to destroying those who have wronged us and watching the earth freeze?_ Caitlin asked bitterly, remembering those two main goals Killer Frost had shared with her.

 _'Somethings changed...'_

 _Really? What?_ Caitlin asked suspiciously.

 _'When I manifested, I took the form of your deepest pain and hatred'_

 _That doesn't answer my question._

 _'I'm getting there, Snowflake, let me explain. I don't know why I took that form, I just awoke one day, inside your head, feeling alone, afraid, and angry at the world. Angry at everyone, including your friends for always being too wrapped up in their issues to ask about ours. I had your worst memories, I had your darkest secrets. I reflect the side of yourself you try so hard to hide. The side that you keep down and refuse to see. I'm the side that_ hurts _. I wanted to explode, just as emotions tend to do when they are caged'_

 _And now?_ Caitlin was close to tears, facing the window so that Cisco wouldn't see.

 _'Now I've done that... I've exploded and let out that rage, unfortunately on your friends, but they are not what you fear and hate anymore'_

 _What is?_

 _'You fear_ yourself _Caitlin. You hate_ yourself _'_

 **Sorry, its shorter again! Please forgive me! I'm working on longer chapters, but sometimes I'll get to a place I feel is right to stop and leave hanging. That's just how this chapter ended up. Anyway, more Killer Frost in this chapter! I really enjoy writing her character as a real person versus the shows unexplained version. I've been wanting to try giving her more personality and purpose than being just a killer, and now I'm doing that! I'd love feedback on her character and suggestions for her in the future. It would help a lot while I develop her more and give her more depth than what we've seen on TV.**


	3. Chapter 3

_We're here..._ Caitlin's hands were shaking as she reached to open the car door.

 _'Relax, Snowflake, it'll be fine'_

"You know, nobody blames you for what happened. You'll be alright." Cisco encouraged her as if he could hear her inner conversation. She nodded without looking at him as she left the car. Slamming the door and heading for the STAR Labs entrance, she found that her palm scan, to her surprise, still worked. The temperature inside dropped a bit and her breath could be seen.

 _Cool it!_ Her teeth chattered.

 _'Pun intended?'_

 _No!_

"Cait, are you okay?" Cisco asks worriedly.

"Yeah... fine." She says, managing to get Killer Frosts powers under control. The journey down the hallway and towards the cortex seemed as if it were eternal. Cisco entered first and she could hear Barry's voice from inside. She hesitated.

"And?" Barry asked.

"Look who came with me." Cisco replied. Caitlin gathered what little bravery she had left and followed him inside the cortex. Her heart beat sped up so fast she thought it would burst.

"They said it would be alright if I came back here-" Caitlin was cut of as she tried to explain her presence.

"Of course it's alright, Cait," Barry said, "You'll always have a home here."

 _Not if you knew..._ Caitlin took a deep breath, trying to calm her nerves. Barry stepped towards her and reached out his arms. She realized too late that he was coming in for a hug, and before she knew it she was wrapped up in his arms.

"This feels like a group hug moment." Cisco grinned, joining them. Caitlin smiled genuinely. She remembered a time like this. A _happy_ time. Back in the early days of Team Flash. Back before the Reverse Flash when everything was simple.

 _'Careful, Snowflake'_ Killer Frost reminded her that she still had the growing bump in her belly, and so she was the first to back out of the hug.

"We've missed you." Iris smiled, walking forwards and standing beside Barry. Caitlin felt as if she had betrayed this pair worst of all. Yes, Savitar was from the future, but he was still a version of Barry. This baby would have the DNA of her best friend who was engaged to someone else. Was it still considered cheating? Would they view it that way? She would hate for her baby to be the reason for a break up.

"I've missed you all, too." Caitlin said, looking around the brand new cortex.

"A lot's changed." Cisco said.

"Yeah." The place was different than she had last seen it. There was new equipment and tech. It was beautiful.

 _'Nothing like how we remembered it...'_ Killer Frost murmured.

 _It's definitely something..._ Caitlin agreed.

"So," She began, "Any new evil metas? What have I missed?"

"Not much. So far, nothing major." Barry answered, looking relieved.

 **\- (Time jump) -**

 _'Jitter's, huh? I always preferred it to that other one'_ Killer Frost said as Caitlin entered what used to be the usual hang out. The small talk in the cortex had gotten pretty awkward pretty fast. There wasn't much to discuss, and Caitlin didn't have much to offer to the conversation, afraid she would give something away. She alone had left, needing some time to think things through. Her friends had been hesitant to let her go, not wanting her to flee again, but she had forced the issue.

 _Me too._ Caitlin answered, but as she entered, the smell of coffee almost made her ill. She sat at a table far from where the drinks were prepared.

 _'It smells awful in here...'_ Killer Frost sounded sick as well.

 _I've never felt this terrible around coffee in my life..._ Caitlin swallowed, taking heaving breaths to keep from vomiting.

"Feeling okay?" An unfamiliar voice asked from beside her. She turned, seeing a woman. Her hair was extremely long, wild, and the color of a raging fire. Her eyes were a dark brown with flecks of amber. She was stunning, but something about her was odd.

"Er... no, not really." Caitlin confessed .

 _'Who's she? And why does she care?'_

 _I don't know..._

"I recognize you. You're her, the one with the ice powers?" She asked quietly, sitting across from Caitlin.

"Why would you think that?"

"You're Killer Frost."

"I'm Caitlin Snow."

"Funny. Your Earth two counterpart always said the opposite," The woman laughed, getting up, "Looks like a friend of yours is on his way over. I'll be seeing you later, _Frost_." She left, leaving Caitlin with an uneasy feeling.

 _'Whats her deal?'_ Killer Frost asked, just as concerned.

 _I don't know._ Now Caitlin had another reason to feel sick to her stomach.

"Cait... are you okay? You're pretty pale." Barry's adoptive father approaches her.

"Joe?"

"Yeah, I'm here getting something for Cecile. Work at the precinct is pretty busy for her right now." He said. Caitlin smiled weakly.

"That's sweet. In answer to your question, no, I'm not okay. I don't know what happened. I was just fine, but when I walked in here I just felt so queasy." She sighed.

"The smell of coffee?"

"I don't know what else it could be." She murmured. Joe frowned, thinking for a moment.

"You should get home and rest. If that's the case, you shouldn't be here too long." He said, and Caitlin couldn't agree more. She said goodbye, making her way towards the exit. Once outside in the fresh air, the nauseating feeling ease.

 _'Maybe its a side affect of pregnancy?'_

 _Probably. What am I going to do without coffee?_ Caitlin was distraught over the idea of living without coffee for eight to nine more months.

 _'And what will we do about that woman?'_

 _She could definitely be a problem..._ Caitlin rubbed her temples, a massive headache on its way.

 _'Problems like that should be snuffed out'_ Killer Frost hissed.

 _Hey! Don't even think about it!_

 _'Are you going to say anything to the others?'_

 _Not yet... We need to find out who she is and what she knows before we do anything._

 **So this one is a little longer! Yay! In this fic I'm adding a new character. She's not an OC, but she is a sort of under the radar DC character. Before I post the new chapter, or whenever I reveal who she is, maybe lets do a contest? You guys can guess who she is! Idk what a prize could be... A dedication? A suggestion/idea used or added to the plot? Both? We'll see! I'm starting Chapter 4 as we speak!**


	4. Chapter 4

"No!" Caitlin sat upright in bed, gasping for air, awakening from yet another nightmare. Tears stained her pale cheeks and the covers were all tangled from her thrashing. She was panting, vivid memories flashing before her chocolaty brown eyes. She looked around, for a moment unfamiliar with her surroundings. This was her old bedroom in her old apartment. Everything was as she left it.

 _Savitar. He was there..._

He had been standing over her in his armored suit, dagger ready to kill her with. Her friends were in the background of his old warehouse lair. _Dead_. _All_ of them. And worst of all? She was _freezing_. Her skin was turning blue. It was turning to solid ice and she couldn't move as he brought that dagger down and through her chest.

 _'Calm down, Snowflake. It's alright'_ Killer Frost attempted comforting Caitlin, however her chilling voice did anything but. Caitlin nodded her head, suddenly feeling sick to her stomach. She stumbled to the bathroom, vomiting into the toilet.

 _And so it begins. The morning sickness._

 _'Gross'_

 **-(Time Jump)-**

It was nine o'clock, and just as it used to be, Caitlin was the first at STAR Labs. Her stomach had calmed and she prayed that she didn't get sick during the rest of the day. Her clothes were basic, jeans and a simple, white T-shirt. She hadn't bothered to dress as proper as she used to since she didn't plan on coming back to work here.

"Morning." Cisco arrived just after her. She looked at him and smiled. They had been through so much together. Could they get through her betrayal and pregnancy? What about her inner, and still very much alive, Killer Frost?

"Good morning." She replied, pushing those thoughts aside.

"So... have you thought about it? Staying, I mean?"

 _'And there it is. The big question. Again'_

"Yes... I have."

"And?"

 _'There is still that strange woman... we can't just leave'_

 _On the other hand, if we left, we'd never have to see that creep again for the rest of our lives._

"Cait?" Cisco was still waiting for an answer.

"Er- just give me time, Cisco. When I figure it out I'll let you know." She moved past him and towards a desk, sitting down and checking the computers.

 _'What are you so afraid of?'_

 _You know what. But it's not just that... I'm not the person I was. I never will be, and they don't seem to get that. I hate being here when I know they're all wondering when I'll go back to being the old Caitlin. All they're thinking is when, when, when. I can't stand it!_

"You guys are up early." The Cortex was starting to get crowded as more members of Team Flash began showing up. Caitlin smiled at their happy faces. Her smile soon disappeared as, once again, the smell of coffee wafted up to her nose. Iris was holding a large cup of the delicious drink. Caitlin got up, speed walking towards the bathroom. Closing the door behind her, she began throwing up.

"Caitlin? Are you okay?" Cisco was knocking on the door.

"F- fine," Caitlin heaved, "The smell of coffee... it's making me sick." She stood on wobbly legs when she finished, flushing the toilet. Moving towards the sink, Caitlin cupped her hands under the faucet and rinsed her mouth.

"But you loved coffee!" Cisco said as she opened the door, coming face to face with him. Annoyance took over and for a moment Killer Frost's rage seeped into her own emotions.

"Not anymore! Just get it away from me!" Caitlin snapped. She fled into the med bay, grabbing a bottled water from the cabinet. While the others discussed Cisco's latest invention, Joe broke away from the group. He too had coffee. She could smell it, and her head began to swim with nausea.

"Joe, please leave me alone-"

"You know, when Francine was pregnant with Iris, she couldn't stand the smell of coffee either." He said, a serious look on his face.

"W- what?" Caitlin asked, dumbfounded.

 _No, no, no! This can't happen!_

"Her feet swelled and she was unable to wear heals. She had to wear flats, like you." Caitlin looked down at her feet. She _was_ in flats and her feet were _definitely_ swollen. They _hurt_.

"I- I don't know what you're talking about." Caitlin stammered, trying to conjure up an excuse.

"And Caitlin," Joe continued, "That tank top doesn't hide it real well. The others might not notice it yet since they've never raised a child, but I have."

"Will you tell them?" Caitlin gulped.

"No. That's up to you." Joe sighed, turning and leaving her by herself.

 _'So now someone knows... what will you do?'_

 _I don't know..._ Caitlin slipped unnoticed past the others, heading for the exit.

 _'Cisco drove us here. If you're thinking about leaving again, how will you get away?'_

 _Bus? Train?_

 _'Oh Snowflake... you can't run from the inevitable'_ The door burst open as Caitlin broke into a run.

 _Watch me!_

 _'You know... you could relax for a bit if you need time. Let me take control of the figurative drivers seat for a while'_ A chill ran down Caitlin's spine and her head felt as if it might explode. Killer Frost was making a comeback.

 _Stop it!_

She raced down busy sidewalks until she came to a bus stop. She sat down on the bench and tried to steady her breathing. Her headache subsided as she shoved Killer Frost deep down but the second personality clawed and fought to return to the surface. In the end, Caitlin won the internal battle.

 _What if I cant push her out next time..._ She let out a shaky breath.

"Leaving so soon?" A familiar voice said as someone sat beside Caitlin.

"You again? What do you want?!"

"I need help."

"Help with what?"

"Getting rid of my powers." The woman from before turns to face Caitlin, making direct eye contact. For a split second, Caitlin could have sworn she saw the woman's eyes glow a bright yellowy orange.

* * *

 **So now someone knows! It'll only get more complicated from here. Also, the ending gives a hint as to who the new character is for that contest. This character is very under the radar in the DC universe as far as I can tell, so I'll give two more clues now: She is more of an enemy of Superman (Though I used her here because she goes with the plot) and has appeared in Gorilla Grodd's Secret Society. Anyway, Next chapter should _maybe_ be a bit longer than the others since I will be basing it off of a song I just recently fell in love with again. The song is Demons, by Imagine Dragons, and I feel like it matches Caitlin quite nicely. Until next time! :)**

 **\- TopazStars**


	5. Chapter 5

**Ok, so this chapter won't be based off the song since I had a better idea, but the next chapter _probably_ will be!**

* * *

"Who are you?" Caitlin asked, "I've never seen you in my life."

"I'm Claire Selton. I was born with these powers-"

"Born with them?" Caitlin asked, surprised.

"Yes, but the powers come with a bad temper... I'll get so angry sometimes and I'll just explode into a ball of flames," Claire frowns as if forcing herself to keep calm, "And it's getting worse." Caitlin was about to respond when her phone buzzed. She looked down at it and saw the message from Barry.

Did u leave? Julian's allowed to get up and walk around now if u want to visit. 

_Yes..._ Caitlin thought to herself.

"Do you have to go?"

"I'm so sorry, but yeah." Caitlin responds, but first exchanges numbers.

 **-(Time jump)-**

"It's good to see you're getting better." Caitlin grins as she enters Julian's hospital room. His face brightens at the sight of her.

"I'm definitely feeling better." He smiles, sitting on the edge of his bed and motioning for her to sit beside him. She does so, and he places his hand over hers.

"I've missed you." He says, turning to look at her. Caitlin keeps her head down, refusing to look him in the eye.

"I've missed you too, Julian." She says as he laces their fingers together. "When did the doctors say you could leave?" Caitlin asks.

"Soon! Tomorrow or the next day as long as I'm careful."

"That's really good." Caitlin smiled, finally looking at him. Somehow, he was already looking better than he had when she last saw him. His face had more color, he looked a bit more well rested, and he looked happier overall. Silence filled the air, creating an awkward atmosphere.

"So... where have you been? _How_ have you been?" Julian asked.

 _I've been pregnant, that's how I've been._ Caitlin thought, irritated.

"Er- I've been... around," She began, "And I've been alright." That last part was a complete lie, but it was a lie she was now used to telling.

"Well, I'm glad you've been alright."

 _'this is painful'_ Killer Frost growled.

 _You've been pretty quiet today._

 _'Not much to say. Not after this mornings fiasco'_

 _You tried taking control!_

 _'Yeah! Because I'm a person too! A person who wants her turn being boss! Now be nice, Caitlin, and_ share _'_ Caitlin shivered at Killer Frosts angry voice. Her eyes, she already knew, were glowing a bright silver.

"You've already been boss! And look what you've done!" Caitlin wailed aloud, her vision blurring and a migraine threatening to consume her skull. She bolted from the room, tears rolling down her cheeks and turning into ice as they fell.

"Caitlin?!" Julian shouted, appearing in the doorway of his hospital room, a bewildered look on his face. She couldn't turn back, she couldn't hurt him again if Killer Frost broke through. She rounded a corner, not looking where she was going and not particularly caring.

 _'You can't keep me buried forever, Snowflake! Let me OUT!'_ Killer Frost howled inside Caitlin's mind, worsening the migraine.

"Cait-" She didn't stay to hear the rest of Barry's sentence as she dashed past the visiting Team Flash and through the crowded halls. The elevators were in sight. She was almost there, and once she was free she could run away forever and this time never look back. Her head spun and her limbs felt numb. Either Killer Frost was taking over or she was passing out from the strain on her brain. That question was soon answered as she tumbled to the hard floor. Laying there, dazed, she watched as doctors rushed towards a her, before everything faded away.

 **-(Time Jump)-**

Caitlin woke up, drowsy and feeling more like herself than the chilly Killer Frost. She was in a hospital bed, vitals being taken, and found herself in a hospital gown. She blushed, not wanting to know who had changed her outfit. She looked around, head still unclear and eyes squinting to see. A doctor rushed inside, seeing her move.

"Ms. Snow-" The doctor kept talking but Caitlin wasn't listening. She sat up slowly. Her friends had been here. Were they still?

"Overall, you're perfectly fine. You and your baby are perfectly healthy." The doctor finished, smiling at Caitlin.

 _My baby!_ Her heart raced at the sudden thought.

"A- are you sure?! It's alright?!" She gasped.

"Yes, she's perfectly fine."

" _She_?" Caitlin had always wanted a daughter.

"You didn't already know the gender?"

"No... But I'm so glad you told me." Caitlin breathed, still processing the news. Warmth spread throughout her chest. She thought for a moment that her love for her baby was thawing her heart.

 _'Adorable'_ Killer Frost sneered.

 _Yeah. I think she will be._ Caitlin defended her child. For the first time, she felt the need to protect her baby. Maternal instinct was finally kicking in. The doctor left and she laid back down. As she picked up her phone from her purse, which had been left on a bedside table, she didn't notice the sound of approaching footsteps.

"Congratulations." Muttered a shaking voice. Caitlin looked up.

"Barry-"

"How long? Did you know?" He wasn't looking at her. He _couldn't_ look at her. So instead he gazed down at the floor.

"Yes... I knew."

"Is that why you left?"

"Yes." Caitlin responded.

"Is it mine?"

"What?" That question had caught her off guard.

"Is it Savitar's?" Barry rephrased. Caitlin opened her mouth, trying to find the right words.

"Yes." Caitlin whispered. Barry looked her right in the eye, disappointment and hurt evident in his face. She looked away, unable to stand the shame, when she heard his departing footsteps.


	6. Chapter 6

**So this one is sorta kinda based off of** **Demons by Imagine Dragons because I feel like it goes SO well. You really have to squint though, or you'll miss it.**

* * *

Caitlin rolled over in her hospital bed. Thankfully, she was by a window. The wind blew through the treetops, spreading colored leaves all over the sidewalk below. The days were getting colder. She couldn't help but think she brought the chilly weather with her. Caitlin once had a promising future in bio-engineering and a loving fiance. She closed her warm brown eyes. Those dreams had failed. And at first it wasn't her fault. At first it was Doctor Wells's fault. This time, though? This time was entirely her own fault. Not that she wouldn't love her baby. She would adore it, frost powers or not. The problem was that she was all alone. She wanted nothing more than to hide the truth, and even that hadn't gone well. She had been careful, but Killer Frost had taken everything from her _again_. She would have to shelter her baby from the cold, keep Killer Frost out forever in order to protect her. She didn't know if that was possible. If it was possible to keep up a mental battle every waking hour. Killer Frost was a beast she couldn't even hide her thoughts from. She opened her eyes again, tears leaking from them.

"Barry's brokenhearted, you know." Caitlin turned around, seeing Cisco walking in and sitting beside her in a chair.

"H- he is?" Caitlin asked, "Who else knows?"

"Everyone. We were all there when you passed out and got a diagnosis."

"Even-"

"No. Not Julian, yet. The doctors made him stay in his hospital room. They thought he would injure himself furthur." Cisco sighed, running a hand through his shoulder length, black hair. Caitlin didn't know how to respond, so instead she stayed silent.

"Look me in the eye Caitlin." Cisco said. She lifted her eyes to stare into his. His eyes were impossible to read.

"Is it true? That it's... Savitar's? Barry's? Please tell me it's not. That it's not a _murderers_ baby." He was shaking his head, and Caitlin snapped.

"Yeah, _she's_ Savitar's baby. But she's not just a murderers child. She's _mine_ ," Caitlin growled.

"She's your inner ice demon's baby," He said, "You never would have-"

"Cisco. If you dare finish that sentence, you're dead to me." Caitlin murmured.

"What if she has _her_ powers?"

"Then we'll deal with it. She could have super speed instead, you know."

"Right..."

 **-(Time Jump)-**

Caitlin stepped out of the bathroom after changing from the hospital gown to her previous clothes. They were letting her go. Cisco had left long ago after their very tense conversation.

 _I'm getting out of here and_ never _coming back..._ Caitlin hung her head.

 _'What about the baby's father? Do you really think he'll let you go?'_

 _He's_ not _her father!_

 _'Genetically he is and you know how he can be. He'll feel responsible in some way, you'll see'_ Killer Frost snickered. Caitlin thought about that. He felt responsible for everything that had happened to her so far. Would he really feel responsible for her baby? Caitlin looked down the hall as she left the hospital room. Julian's door was closed so she assumed he either was sleeping or not wanting to see anyone. She didn't know if Cisco had gone and told him about her pregnancy earlier, and she didn't want to take that chance. She walked towards the front desk, signing some papers before leaving the massive building. She wondered how the doctors hadn't found out about her meta DNA and figured Joe had probably pulled a few strings. After all, if she went to prison, what would happen to her baby? She rounds a corner and searches the parking lot for her car.

 _There!_ She spots the vehicle and picks up the pace.

 _'They'll find you no matter where you go'_ Killer Frost taunts her.

 _Not this time._ Caitlin sets her phone on the ground, ready to smash it and leave it behind, when it chimes with an unexpected contact. She stands there, frozen, staring at it.

 _'It's just a text. Answer it'_

 _Yeah... A text from Barry._

 _'Told you he wouldn't let this go'_

 _Yes, I remember._ Caitlin rolls her eyes as she picks up her phone from the ground. With trembling hands, she unlocks it and reads the text.

Come back to STAR Labs when you get out. We have a lot to talk about.

 _Oh no..._

 _'Oh yes, Snowflake. No getting out of it this time'_

 _I could just ignore this..._

 _'But is that the right thing to do?'_

 _Since when do you care about the right thing?_

 _'Since I want our daughter to have a father!'_

 _He's not her dad!_

 _'He could be the closest thing, Snowflake!'_

 _He has Iris._ Caitlin murmurs in her head, and Killer Frost doesn't respond. As she gets in her car and turns on the engine she feels pain radiating from her chest. It was something like what she felt for Ronnie when he died. _Heartbreak_. Killer Frosts emotions were overpowering her own.

 _You really want this?_

 _'...'_

 _Don't go silent on me, I know the big bad Killer Frost is hurting._

 _'Yeah... I do'_

 **-(Time Jump)-**

"You _actually_ showed up." Cisco says as Caitlin steps foot in the Cortex. She averts her gaze.

"Yeah. What do you want?"

"Cait, look at me. You can't leave again." Barry's voice breaks and she looks up.

"I can and I will. This is not your baby."

"But-"

"Do you remember sleeping with me?"

"Wha- No! Of course not!"

"Then this isn't your baby."

"I'm still responsible. I created Savitar and Savitar is me."

"Barry, I'm leaving-"

"I'll take this to court if I have to." He says and Caitlin's heart drops. He wouldn't give up, even if it meant a custody battle.

"You can't do that."

"Why not?"

"You're with Iris."

"Caitlin, I don't blame you," Iris steps forward, "I know you weren't... in your right mind." Caitlin hesitates.

"I don't want my daughter to grow up in constant danger."

"Daughter?" A British voice comes from behind her.

* * *

 **So there were bits of lyrics weaved throughout this. Anyway... things are getting complicated! Barry knows and wants Caitlin to stay! Julian has just heard about it for the first time at the very end! Next chapter coming soon! :D**

 **-TopazStars**


	7. Chapter 7

"J- Julian-"

"You're pregnant?" Julian's face is unreadable. That makes this a hundred times worse.

"Yeah." Caitlin says softly, and Julian stands there a moment longer before turning and walking away. She's about to run after him when he picks up the pace, obviously not wanting to talk.

"He just needs time-" Iris began, trying to comfort Caitlin by putting a hand on her shoulder, but quickly pulled away when Caitlin's eyes flashed silver. Iris was always so caring, no matter what someone did. Her willingness to forgive Savitar proved that, but Caitlin didn't need caring. She needed something to punch.

 _'Let all that rage out, Snowflake! Let me out!'_

 _No!_ Caitlin shook her head.

"Cait- Are you alright?"

"I'm fine!" Caitlin hissed once Killer Frost was safely caged. A humongous migraine was building up and she needed to sit down. Finding the nearest chair, she sunk into it and rubbed her temples.

"Just a headache." She murmured.

 _'I'm more than a silly headache, Snowflake'_

 _I know that, but they don't._

"It looked like more than a headache." Barry frowns.

"It was _just_ a headache!" Caitlin repeats, louder this time.

"Crankiness. It's already starting." Cisco cracks something similar to his old usual smile. Caitlin can't help but slightly smile back.

"Yeah."

"But seriously, you don't have to do this alone." Barry insists.

"Yeah, she'll have Uncle Cisco, Auntie Iris, Grandpa Joe, Uncle Wally,-"

"I get the point." Caitlin cuts Cisco off.

"-Grandpa Harry, Auntie Jesse," Cisco continues as if she hadn't spoken, "and... uh... whatever Barry will be." Cisco chuckles.

"You left out Julian." Caitlin scowled.

"He didn't seem too into it just now. Maybe let's wait before giving him a title?" Cisco says sheepishly. Caitlin sighs, nodding. Subconsciously she rests a hand on her belly. It's already curving slightly. She was around nine weeks pregnant. At twelve weeks she would _really_ begin showing.

 _Julain will_ never _want to see me again._ Caitlin thought to herself. Silence followed.

 _Killer Frost?_

 _'If you're looking for comfort you've come to then wrong person' She sighed wearily._

 _You don't sound too good..._

 _'Well, morning sickness_ does _keep us up all night long. I'm tired'_

 _I'm not tired._

 _'I'm not you'_

 _No... but-_

 _'Let it go, Snowflake'_ Killer Frost says, and her presence silences again. Her silence is always unsettling. Caitlin was so used to haveing her around. She was so used to Killer Frost voicing her own opinions and giving advice, no matter how bad it was. Caitlin got up and prepared to leave the cortex.

"Cait-"

"I'm not going to run away again, Barry. I just... need some air." She says, running a hand through her waves of white hair. Without waiting for a response, Caitlin stalks out of the room and heads towards the exit.

 **-(Time Jump)-**

"Knock knock." Caitlin says nervously as she taps on the Forensics Lab door. She took a big risk coming here. She had tied her hair back and was wearing sunglasses, but she doubted she wouldn't get recognized if she stayed too long.

"I'm busy, Caitlin." Julain said from his desk.

"I- I know, I just-"

"Don't apologize. You never loved me, and you never did. Remember?" Julian wouldn't even look up.

"You know that's not true-"

"Isn't it? You're having someone else's baby."

"Julian, you didn't even let me explain!" Caitlin said, a little louder than she had intended to.

"Explain what? What is there to explain?" Julian asked, putting his work down and finally looking up at her.

Caitlin froze for a minute, clueless as to how to respond.

"Savitar..." She mumbled quietly.

"What? I can't hear you when you mumble." He was shaking his head.

"I said Savitar."

"What about Savitar?" Julian was clearly confused. Caitlin rolled her eyes, getting ready to explain.

 _'For a smarty pants, he's really taking his sweet time putting it together...'_ Killer Frost snickered.

 _Shush!_

"It's Savitar's Child." She murmured quietly.

"Wha- what?" Caitlin couldn't tell if Julian was shocked, angry, sad, or what emotion he was feeling right then.

"I'm pregnant," She took a deep breath, "With Savitar's baby." Julian was silent for about two seconds.

"W- was it rape?! Did he force you-"

"No!" Caitlin gasped, "No, he didn't. Killer Frost... She-"

"It was Killer Frost's fault? Is that what you're trying to tell me? Like Cisco said, you're the same person. It's just... confusing."

"No! We're not!" Caitlin finally burst, "We're different!"

"What do you mean?"

 _'Ooh, cats out of the bag'_ Killer Frost giggled.

"I- I mean," Caitlin struggled to find the right words, "Killer Frost is a separate person. I... er... hear her voice..."

"You hear voices?"

"Yes!"

 _I sound insane!_

 _'Pretty much...'_

 _"Look, I swear she's not just my imagination!"_

"Caitlin... I think you need help."

"No, Julian! I dont!"

 _'Why not take a break and let me explain, Snowflake?'_

 _Killer Frost..._

 _'It'll be fine! I won't hurt anyone. I promise'_ She says, and Caitlin, distressed and frozen like a deer in the headlights, makes a choice.

 _Alright._ Caitlin took down her mental barrier and was immediately thrust back into the deepest recesses of her mind. She could see and hear everything, but her movements and words were entirely Killer Frost.

 _I'm trusting you. Don't make me regret it._

* * *

 **Hello everyone! So Killer Frost is free at the end of this chapter! My goal for the next one is to have it completely through Killer Frosts perspective, so we'll see what happens. This chapter was partially written by RandomFlashFangirl while I was stuck with a bad case of writers block, so thank you SO MUCH!**

 **\- TopazStars**


	8. Chapter 8

"Hey there, cutie." Killer Frost purred as she stepped closer to Julian. Her eyes had transformed from coffee brown to a deep azure. Julian was on his feet now.

"C- Caitlin-"

"Oh, no, no, no. I'm not Caitlin, sweetheart. My name is-"

"Killer Frost. Right." Julian muttered.

"Precisely."

"What are you going to do?" Julian asked, "Kill me?"

"Give me good reason and I will."

 _Don't you dare!_ Caitlin snarled from inside Killer Frosts head.

 _'Relax, Snowflake! I wasn't really gonna do it'_

"So what does this prove?"

"That I'm me, and Caitlin is Caitlin. We are not the same, no matter what you think."

"So your a split identity?"

"I'm a person," Killer Frost growled, "Not a figment of Caitlin's imagination!"

"How long have you two been brain besties?" Julian asked.

"Since flashpoint. Duh," Killer Frost spat, "I've grown stronger since, though."

"Ah, yes. Hurray for you, besting us all." Julian says, voice laced with sarcasm.

"You care about her, I get that," Killer Frost narrows her eyes, "But I'm her 'Brain Bestie' as you put it, so I will protect and defend her against our enemies as well as smart asses such as yourself."

"You think I'm a-"

"Damn right I do." Killer Frost glared.

 _Killer Frost... That's enough. I let you out, so now put me back in control._

 _'Not yet, Snowflake. I've only just stretched my legs'_ Killer Frost grinned, _'Why don't_ _we head back to STAR Labs?'_

 _No!_

 _'Yes!'_

"Darling, I'd love to stay, but the precinct probably isn't the safest place for someone called 'Killer Frost'. We'll be seeing you later." Killer Frost turned with a smile and left the forensics lab. Julian stood there, letting her go, and doing absolutely nothing.

 **-(Time Jump)-**

"Cait! You're back-" Cisco had been running towards Killer Frost with excitement written all over his face, but those chilling eyes had given her away.

"Not exactly." She sighs. She would never get out from under Caitlin's shadow. Never be her own person in their eyes.

 _Killer Frost... if it's any consolation,_ I _know you're your own person._

 _'Obviously'_ It's meant to come out as rude, but Caitlin actually did comfort her a bit.

"How-"

"Because Caitlin let me out."

"Caitlin, please-"

"I'm not Caitlin!" Killer Frost hissed, "I'm-"

"Killer Frost, I get it."

"Do you?" She snaps, "It doesn't seem like it since you insist on calling me Caitlin."

"What's going on?" Barry walks into the cortex with a frown on his face. That frown turns to horror at the sight of her angry blue eyes. For a moment Killer Frost's fury melted. That face... It was entirely Savitar's. Well, minus the scar.

"Cait-"

"I'm not Caitlin!" She roared, "I'm Killer Frost! I'm different!"

 _Hey, calm down!_

 _'They just won't understand!'_ Killer Frost sounded miserable _, 'I want to be treated like you! Like a human being! But all they want to do is "cure" me. In other words, they want to murder me'_

"Guys?" Most of Team Flash, hearing the commotion, curiously enter the cortex.

"Oh my god..." Iris takes one look at Killer Frost and stiffens.

"Give Caitlin control," Barry begs, "Please."

 _'He may look like Savitar, but they are_ nothing _alike'_ Killer Frost thought, sadness washing over her.

 _I know you loved him, but-_

 _'He was going to kill them, I know'_

"Some friends you are. You know, if you were true friends you'd ask Caitlin how she feels. _None_ of you have done that yet. Instead, you threaten to sue her for custody and call our baby a _'murderers child'_ , which is true, but she is also _ours_. Our baby will never be like him."

"Why doesn't Caitlin tell us herself? Why let you out?"

"She was too afraid to do it herself. That's where I come in."

"You protect her." Barry says, trying to understand.

"Against anything and everything."

"And the baby?"

"What about her?"

"You'll defend her too?"

"Yes, I suppose I'll fight for my offspring as well," Killer Frost sighs, "When she's in danger or in court if you so foolishly decide to try and take her from us."

"We would be taking her from someone named Killer Frost." Joe said.

 _No! You're making it worse!_ Caitlin wailed

"I haven't killed anyone." Killer Frost said quietly.

"So why call yourself Killer Frost?" Barry asked.

"It's the only name I've ever been given since I first manifested."

"So why don't you create a new name for yourself? Something good?" Barry suggested. Killer Frost simply giggled.

"That would be a problem because I'm _not_ good."

"You're right. You're not, but you're still-"

"Caitlin? Yes, I know. You can't seem to shut up about that."

"So what makes you so different from Caitlin?" Cisco asked.

"Well, you see, we are in the slightest ways the same. I'm her dark side. Every bad memory, dark secret, and angering thought gets filtered into me. She still gets angry and all, but it only fuels me. Caitlin didn't explain that part to you, did she?" She smirked.

 _Okay, you've done quite enough! Now let me back in control!_ Caitlin fought against the barrier keeping her supressed.

"Zip it, Snowflake," Killer Frost accidentally whispered out loud. She shook her head, trying to clear it.

"Look, let us help you-"

"And by help, do you mean 'cure'? Don't sugarcoat it! You want to _kill_ me." Killer Frost stalked out of the cortex. She was furious. She was enraged. She was absolutely _livid_.

 **-(Time Jump)-**

Killer Frost sat in the park, crisscross applesauce, beneath a large tree. This was where Cisco had first told Caitlin about her. About their fate. She leaned her head back against the tree trunk, staring up at the dense treetop. Footsteps nearby startled her.

"Hey." A familiar voice said. She looked up.

"Hey, Iris."

* * *

 **Ok! So! This chapter was written with the lovely Randomflashfangirl again. She's such a life saver, I'm not sure I could have published this without her and her methods of defeating the hideous writers block! So thank you! Next chapter will also have Killer Frost's point of view and a conversation between her and Iris. Until next time!**

 **\- TopazStars**


	9. Chapter 9

Killer Frost wasn't sure how to feel about Iris. She was Barry's girlfriend, and Barry looked like Savitar.

 _'But he's not,'_ She had to remind herself, _'He's not Savitar'_

"What are you doing here? The Team thought you might have bailed again."

"Not yet." Killer Frost said as Iris sat down beside her.

"Yet?"

"Yeah. Snowflake and I are still trying to figure out what's next." She murmurs and Iris smiles.

"Snowflake?"

"My nickname for her." Killer Frost, for a split second, smiles fondly.

"Does she have a nickname for you?" Iris asks, and the frigid expression returns to Killer Frost's face.

"No."

"You _can_ change, you know. Change and stay with us." Iris says, smiling kindly. It made Killer Frost squirm uncomfortably. Iris was being _nice_ to her. That was something she was most definitely _not_ used to.

"It's not that... Caitlin doesn't want to stay because She feels guilty." She sighs.

"What about what you want?"

"Caitlin is usually in control, so what I want is irrelevant."

 _That's not true!_

"Well, what _you_ did isn't Caitlin's fault."

"I know, but she won't stop beating herself up about it." Killer Frost mumbled, bringing her knees up to her chest and resting her chin on them.

"Why did you do it?"

"What? I've done a lot of things, be more specific." She says sarcastically.

"Help Savitar?" Iris rolled her eyes.

"Caitlin was broken and weak. He could have made us strong. Plus, he was the only one who saw me as a real person. Not a monster. Not just a _thing_ in Caitlin's head."

"You loved him?" Iris asks.

"Yes. He trusted me. Gave me exactly what I needed."

"Which was?"

"He was my first friend. Someone to really care about, and who cared about me," She sighs, "Snowflake and I have been forced to get along ever since, so I'd like to think of her as a friend too. I'm not sure she feels the same though..."

 _Aw, Frost. Of course I'm you're friend. Things started off terribly-_

 _'But we've made up,'_ Killer Frost smiled, _'You called me Frost._ Just _Frost'_

 _You're_ not _a Killer._

 _'...'_

"You know that Barry isn't-"

"I know. He's not Savitar."

"He still feels so responsible." Iris murmurs.

"He's not."

"He's going to want to be a part of her life, you know."

"How do you feel about that?"

"It doesn't really matter to me. I know he didn't cheat on me so it's not like this whole thing was intentional or his fault."

"No, but you'd be alright with _our_ daughter calling _your_ fiancé 'dad'?" Killer Frost asks, and Iris thinks about that.

"I- I don't know about _that_."

"Well, you better make up your mind. This baby is on her way and if you want us gone, you better say so before we're the size of a small planet and unable to run."

"I could never ask that of you! We all care about you."

"You care about Caitlin," Killer Frost says, "Not me."

"Stay here. Let us in and get to know you. You hide behind this sarcastic, cold exterior, but you don't have to." Iris scans Killer Frosts face, looking for any signs of a possible "yes".

"Um..."

 _'What do you think, Snowflake?'_

 _Well..._

 _'We need somewhere stable to raise the kid'_ Killer Frost points out.

 _We- we could find somewhere else-_

 _'Jusy say you'll try it?'_

 _..._

 _'Snowflake?'_

 _Fine,_ Caitlin sounded reluctant, _We'll try it_

"Let's see how this goes." Killer Frost nods slowly. Iris gets up and so does Killer Frost.

"Are you going to come back with me? We could use your medical expertise in case of another Meta attack. It's been rough for them without someone to patch them up." Killer Frost could feel Caitlin's regret radiating through her in waves.

 _I left them without anyone to heal them... What if someone had died?!_ Caitlin internally shuddered _._

"That requires Caitlin."

"Oh."

"Yeah..." Killer Frost looks down, "I think we'll get back to our apartment. Its been a stressful day for us both, we need some rest."

"Alright." Iris smiles and leaves her alone.

 _It's definitely been a tough day._ Caitlin murmured sleepily.

 **-(Time Jump)-**

 _'Finally'_ Killer Frost thought as she pushed the key into the keyhole, unlocking their apartment. She stepped inside, slammed the door, and flopped on the couch. She closed her electric blue eyes, almost giving in to her exhaustion. _Almost_.

"Who's there?" She jumped up, on edge, as a loud _CLANG_ echoed through the apartment. She held up her hands, frost crackling around them, as she prepared to defend herself. She carefully crept into the kitchen.

"Claire?!"

"I- Sorry-"

"Yes, I'll help you, but you can't break into my home!" Killer Frost shouted, dropping her hands to her sides. A baking pan laid on the floor. Claire had knocked it off the rack.

"I know but... look it's getting worse. I almost burned down my house." She says sheepishly.

 _'Snowflake, there's always that cure Julian made. Do you think it'll work for her?'_

 _It's meant to reverse cold powers, but if we reversed it..._

 _'So... is that a yes?'_

 _It's a maybe._

* * *

 **Hey everyone! This is a little short, sorry! I promise my chapters will never be below 900 words, and this one was at 903 words. I promise I'll try to make the next one longer! I also want Killer Frost to have a friend beyond Caitlin and was thinking Iris would be a good idea. This is because Iris and Caitlin aren't as close as they are to the other characters. So, like, maybe that could work so Killer Frost has her own friend! Let me know wether or not you think that's a good idea! Cya!**

 **\- TopazStars**


	10. Chapter 10

Caitlin opened her brown eyes that morning. It had been a long night of research into the cure for Claire. She had left late at night, hopeful and excited.

 _'Damn it... Guess I'm back in my cage today'_

 _Yup_. Caitlin smiles as she clambers out of bed. That smile quickly disappears as a wave of nausea hits. She races for the bathroom.

 _'Being back in my cage has it's perks'_ Killer Frost gags.

"Shut up." Caitlin grumbles aloud. Holding her stomach.

 _Has she grown already..._

 _'I- I think so...'_

 _It never used to seem so real... I used to hope it was a dream. This just makes it real._

 _'Yeah...'_

 _I look forward to meeting her though, don't you?_ Caitlin smiles nervously.

 _'Ugh. I hate kids'_ Killer Frost grumbles, but Caitlin can feel the excitement radiating through her.

 **-(Time Jump)-**

"She's gone?" Iris asks as Caitlin drags herself into STAR Labs.

"Good riddance-" Cisco begins his sentence, but is silenced by a sharp look from Iris.

"Frost is always with me," Caitlin smiles weakly, "She feels what I feel, sees what I see, and hears what I hear."

"And you're _sure_ you don't want Julian's cure?"

"No!" She barks defensively, before using a calmer tone, "Er- no. She's become a part of me I don't want gone. I don't know... I think I would feel empty without her. Don't get me wrong, we fight and it can get ugly, but... we're too close now."

 _'Aw, Snowflake, how sweet!'_ Frost says sincerely.

"You sound pretty happy to have her." Iris says with a smiles.

"I am." She said as she walked over to an empty desk. She sat down in the closest chair, knowing if she stood much longer nausea would take over at she would end up having to run to the bathroom. A few moments later, she heard Barry walking in and greeting everyone. She smiled at him momentarily before she looked elsewhere, her mind zoning out, she could hear the mumbled talking in the background, but she wasn't paying attention. Last night had been tough, and so she was still half asleep.

 _'I'm pretty sure someone's trying to talk to you, Snowflake'_ Killer Frost spoke up.

"Caitlin?" Barry asked, shaking her shoulder slightly to get her attention. Caitlin came back to reality, a little startled.

"What?" She asked, dazed.

"We were asking what you thought about going to Jitters for lunch."

"Uh, yeah... Sure." She shrugs.

"Well, then let's go," He said, nodding his head towards the hallway. Caitlin nodded as she stood up, quickly grabbing her purse as she headed out with everyone, slightly embarrassed after spacing out the way she did.

 **-(Time Jump)-**

Barry and Cisco held the doors open as Caitlin and Iris walked into Jitters, The smell of coffee hit her hard and she felt like she was going to either throw up or pass out. She couldn't remember why she agreed to go, but here she was.

 _'Get us out of here!'_ Killer Frost sounded sick as well.

"You guys can go order the drinks, I'll go find a seat." Caitlin said as she slowly separated from the group. Cisco nodded as he watched Caitlin go. She eventually found a table near the back and placed her bag down as she practically collapsed into the chair, trying to not focus on the disgusting smell of coffee. It made her furious. She loved coffee, yet right now it was making her sick to her stomach. She sighed as she heard a familiar British voice

"Caitlin?" Julian asked.

"Oh, hey Julian." She said awkwardly.

"Hey." He just stood there, holding his coffee.

"Er- I'm really sorry about what happened at the precinct. I- I didn't think I was getting through to you but-"

"But you though someone named 'Killer Frost' would do a better job?" He chuckled.

"Er- yeah..." Caitlin mutters sheepishly, realizing how dumb it sounded, "I panicked and she was just waiting to shove me aside and take control."

"She was right, though."

"About what?"

"About me being," Julian shifted awkwardly, "A smart ass. I was a bit angry and... shocked at your return and said some things I didn't mean. Truly, I'm sorry."

"It's alright, Julian."

"How are you feeling?" He asks.

 _'Wow. Who knew the smart ass would be the first to care'_

"You know, you're the first person to ask me that." Caitlin smiles.

"Really?" Julian asks in disbelief.

"Yeah... and to be honest, I'm very sorta sick. The smell of coffee..." Caitlin shakes her head as she feels her stomach churning.

"Then why are you here?"

"Barry and the the others asked me to come along." She breaths heavily, trying not to vomit. The smell of coffee is suffocating.

"Well," Julian looked at the preoccupied team ordering their drinks, "Would you rather go somewhere with me?" He beams hopefully at her. How can she resist?

 _'Yes! Please, anywhere but here!'_ Killer Frost coughs and Caitlin can't tell if she's being overly dramatic.

"Y- yeah." Caitlin blushed a little, getting up. He holds out his hand, and she takes it greatfully. She begins to sway, dizzy from the smell, and he steadied her. With her other hand, Caitlin waves goodbye to the rest of the team.

* * *

 **I'm so sorry it's taken me this long to update! I have midterms next week and school has been a nightmare. Anyway, I had an idea. I'd like to write a prequel to this story. It would follow Caitlin and Savitar in the episodes before Savitar dies. Like, what were they doing while Barry went to talk to his future self? That kind of thing. This is Snowbert, but that story would be about Caitlin's time with Savitar. Let me know if you guys would be interested in reading something like that!**

 **\- TopazStars**


	11. Chapter 11

"Where are we going?" Caitlin asked, staring curiously out the car window. They had been in the car for what felt like years.

"You'll see." Julian chuckled. Caitlin's stomach was feeling better since leaving Jitters.

"Alright." She smiled. The street had become a dirt road as he turned onto a different trail. Caitlin had never been to this side of town. A canopy of tree branches mimicked a tunnel as they drove slowly. Sunlight flickered between the leaves, speckling the ground in its rays.

"This place is beautiful..." Caitlin gasped.

 _'It's_ boring _!_ _Why couldn't we have gone to a nice steakhouse like that one time?'_

 _Are you ever happy?_ Caitlin refused to growl at Killer Frost aloud, but it was tempting _._

 _'Hey!'_

"Here we are!" Julian said cheerfully, oblivious to the argument going on inside Caitlin's head. Caitlin reached for the door handle and got out of the car.

 _Oh my god..._

 _'This might have been worth it'_ Killer Frost was also in awe. They had reached the end of the road and come to the forest treeline. Beyond it lay a small clearing of lush green grass, little yellow flowers, and a couple of dragonflys darting through the air. Birds flitted between tree branches, warbling their songs, and a butterfly floated past Caitlin's face. A babbling creek could be heard not too far away.

"Julian," Caitlin murmured, "It's stunning..."

"Isn't it?" A tentative hand slipped into Caitlin's, his thumb massaging the back of her hand. Their fingers then laced together. Julian sat down in the grass, Caitlin joining him, and together they learned back against a fallen tree trunk. They lapsed into complete silence.

"So... do you feel better now?" Julian asked.

"Much," Caitlin smiled, "Thank you."

"How far along are you?" Julian asked curiously.

"Around nine weeks," Caitlin sighs, a hand absentmindedly resting on her belly, "I'll have a more visible bump around twelve."

"I've said it before, but you're _so_ incredibly brave."

"For what?" Caitlin frowned, Turning her head to look at him.

"For going through with this. You'll make a wonderful mother." Julian beamed at her.

"Thank you." She blushed, smiling back.

"So... how's Killer Frost?" The question caught Caitlin by surprise.

 _'That's... surprisingly kind of him to ask. I'm doing fine, I guess'_

 _Yeah_...

"She's fine. She says it's kind of you to ask."

 _'You didn't have to tell him that!'_

"That's good," Julian says, "How does she feel about all this?"

 _'Er- it's alright, I guess. It's not ideal but... it's my fault. Cait and I have both agreed to keep the little one'_ Killer Frost responded, and Caitlin relayed the message.

"Julian, if you want to talk to Frost, I'd rather you do it directly. This is a little rude." Caitlin said.

"A- are you sure?"

"It's safe, I promise." The mental barrier was already beginning to fall, Killer Frost leaping forward and pushing Caitlin away. Her hair suddenly lost its color and her eyes turned a deep indigo.

"Er- hello-" Julian was at a loss for words

"Hey there, handsome." Killer Frost smirked. She clenched and unclenched her fists, getting used to being in control again.

"It's good to be free again." She sighs.

"I- I bet." Julian stutters.

"You don't have to be afraid of me," Killer Frost frowns, "Don't provoke me and you won't get hurt."

 _You better not hurt him!_

 _'Nobody likes a backseat driver'_

"O- okay."

 _'He's so cute like this'_ Killer Frost grinned.

"This place is beautiful." She looks up at what she can see of the sky through the treetops. Not a single cloud.

"Yes, I thought so too." He smiled a nervous smile. She turns back to him, smiling as well. He looks into her deep blue eyes. They didn't glow with a menacing silver. They were the color of the ocean and glittered like sapphire gems. She was beautiful no matter what form she took. No longer did hate fill Killer Frost's eyes. Just amusement and a mischievous gleam. She scooted closer to him, leaning her head against his shoulder. She was so close that he was able to breath in whatever sweet smelling shampoo she was using. He wrapped an arm around her shoulders, kissing the top of her head. Killer Frost, for the first time, felt a warm, fuzzy feeling burst within her chest. Caitlin felt it too.

 _Does Frost have a crush?_ Caitlin taunted.

 _'Wha- no!'_

 _I feel what you feel, remember?_

 _'I don't have a crush!'_

 _Whatever you say..._

 _'I don't!'_

 _Uhuh._

 _'He's our friend'_

 _Yes._

 _'Thats all'_

 _Right._

 _'I'm serious!'_

"Do you have any names picked out?" Julian interrupted their mental conversation.

"No... Not really." Killer Frost replied sheepishly. She and Caitlin hadn't really gotten around to thinking up baby names. For the longest time they were just getting used to the idea of being pregnant. Now they had to start preparing.

"Anything off the top of your head?"

"Well... Snowflake wants it to be something sweet and old fashioned. I'd rather it be something unusual and tough, because I can already tell she will be."

"How?" Julian chuckled.

"I don't know... I can just feel it." She smiled with pride.

* * *

 **Hey guys! Sorry about the late update, but midterms were last week and I had a lot of studying to do. Anyway, I'd like to involve you guys in choosing a baby name! I've chosen my top 3 choices for first names, but your ideas on first and middle names would be very much appreciated! Here are my ideas:**

 **1) Crystal**

 **2) Skye**

 **3) Hope**

 **Another thing I'd like to address are the PM and review requests to make this story Snowbarry instead of Snowbert. When I began this story, I already had Snowbert in mind and so Snowbarry probably won't work. I even put a warning in the description letting everyone know it would be Snowbert. These requests are partially why I made a prequel, which has its first chapter out by the way, and will ONLY be Savifrost/Snowbarry.**

 **\- TopazStars**


	12. Chapter 12

_'You're sure you're okay with this, Snowflake?'_

 _Of course! This should be interesting._ Caitlin laughed in response. After dropping them off at Caitlin's apartment, Julian had asked them to dinner at the fantastic steakhouse they had gone to before. To Killer Frost's surprise, it didn't take much convincing for Caitlin to let her stay in control and go on the date.

 _'Interesting?'_

 _You obviously have some feelings for him._

 _'No I don't!'_

 _Remember that warm feeling earlier? That's-_

 _'Love?'_ Killer Frost pretended to gag.

 _Do you even know what love feels like?_ Caitlin sighed in exasperation.

 _'Of course!'_

 _Really?_

 _'Yeah, I know about it through you! I have your memories, remember? I remember Ronnie and what that was like for you'_

 _Knowing about it and actually feeling it aren't the same thing, Frost._ Caitlin internally flinched at Ronnie's name.

 _'True... I don't love Ronnie,'_ Killer Frost said, a bit harshly, _'But I feel your pain sometimes'_

 **-(Time Jump)-**

 _What on earth are we wearing?!_ Caitlin gasped as Killer Frost stepped out of the walk-in closest and looked in the mirror.

 _'Do you like it? I think he will'_ Killer Frost purred.

 _Dear lord, we're not going to a strip club!_

 _'Just because you dress like a high school principle, doesn't mean I have to!'_ Killer Frost retorted. The dress was black with dark blue floral designs and the neckline left little to the imagination. It stopped mid-thigh and was _tight_.

 _Why did I let you stay in charge..._

 _'Because you love me. Now to find some shoes...'_

 _Where did you even get this?!_

 _'Oh! What do you think of these?'_ Killer Frost held up a pair of black open toe stilettos. Caitlin had worn them once and had had trouble trying not to break and ankle. She had a feeling Killer Frost wouldn't have that problem since she was able to run in the boots Savitar had given them.

 _This has gone too far..._ Caitlin wanted to scream in frustration.

 _'You agreed to let me go on this date! Don't ruin it!'_ Killer Frost whined, slipping on the shoes and walking to the bathroom. Their makeup was already done, and Caitlin had to admit Killer Frost did a good job. Meanwhile, their hair remained down and was straightened.

 _We look like a hooker._

 _'We look_ good _'_

 _Change out of this. Now._ Caitlin growled, but to her dismay, the doorbell rang.

 _'Too late!'_ Killer Frost beamed as she raced excitedly to the door.

 _No!_

"Hey." Killer Frost greeted Julian as she opened the door.

"Ready to go-" Julian began, but stopped when he saw what she was wearing.

"Like it?" Killer Frost asked, "Caitlin objected, but-"

"You look lovely," Julian blushed slightly, "Shall we?" He held out is hand and she took it.

 **-(Time Jump)-**

"Hey, guys!" A familiar voice shouted as Killer Frost and Julian entered the steakhouse.

 _What are they doing here?_

 _'I don't know...'_ Killer Frost swallowed nervously as Barry and Iris waved them over to a table.

"I hope you don't mind, but Allen basically invited himself along." Julian grumbled.

"It- it's fine."

 _It's not really fine, is it?_

 _'Why must they look so alike?'_

 _Savitar and Barry?_

 _'Duh'_

 _I'm sorry, Frost. I know what Savitar meant to you._ Caitlin said softly. She could feel Killer Frost's heartache. By now, they were seated across from their friends.

"I thought you were going on this date with Caitlin?" Barry said.

 _'Sorry to disappoint'_ Killer Frost felt like she had been slapped, hearing those words coming from his familiar lips.

 _He doesn't mean it like that. He just doesn't know_ you _yet._

 _'Or maybe he just prefers you'_

 _He'll come around._

 _'He wants to cure you of me like I'm some sort of disease. He wants to_ kill _me'_ She says quietly.

 _Frost-_

 _'Savitar loved me,'_ Killer Frost interrupted, _'He didn't want me destroyed, he wanted me to stay. He didn't think of me as a disgusting bug in need of poisoning'_ Killer Frost's thoughts were heavy with grief.

"I'm enjoying getting to know Frost, actually." Julian responded.

"So am I." Iris smiled at the white haired woman in front of her.

 _'She's always so nice to me'_

 _So?_

 _'It's weird! I tried to kill her!'_

 _You better answer them... And be nice!_

"It's... Nice getting to know you all too." She said awkwardly, averting her gaze from Iris's and looking at the menu. Killer Frost sighed as she looked through the menu, unsure of what she might want to eat.

 _Ooh you should get the Caesar Salad! I had that last time, it was really good._ Caitlin told her. She looked for it on the menu. It really did sound good to her so she knew she would get it.

Killer Frost stared out the window beside her, not really wanting to talk, but when she felt something warm touch her cold hands, she quickly glanced at her hand and saw Julian holding it. She looked up at him, confused.

"Is this alright with you?" Julian asked her softly. She smiled slightly and nodded her head gently.

 _Aw, you like him!_ Caitlin said, playfully teasing Killer Frost. She stiffened at that, glancing back at Barry.

 _'I'm... torn'_ Killer Frost looked away. The others kept talking, and she just waited for the waitress to arrive and take their orders.

* * *

 **Oooooo Killer Frost still loves Savitar xD I'd like to thank Randomflashfangirl for helping me out with my writers block. Short authors note today! Until next time!**

 **\- TopazStars**


	13. Chapter 13

The chatter continued until their food arrived. The sun had set long ago by the time they got up to leave. It was on their way to their cars that Barry put a hand on Frost's shoulder.

"What?" Killer Frost asked as she stopped. Iris looked Back at them with a small smile, nodded encouragingly to Barry, and continued to walk with Julian.

 _'That was... Weird.'_ Killer Frost observed.

 _Very._

"We need to talk about... everything." He said. Her heart sunk.

 _'We have to discuss this now?! Really?!'_

 _He's the fastest man alive. He does everything too soon, does this really come as a shock to you?_

"And by 'everything', do you mean my baby?"

"I mean _our_ baby."

"She is _not_ yours-"

"She is, and you can't convince me otherwise." Barry looked her dead in the eye, causing her to shift uncomfortably.

"So... What do you want?"

"I want to be a part of her life."

"Sure. We'll bring her to STAR Labs every so often." Killer Frost shrugged.

"That's not what I mean."

"Well, what _do_ you mean?" Killer Frost growled in annoyance.

 _'Why can't he just get to the goddamn point?'_

"I want to help name her, babysit, and decorate a nursery-"

"Those are things happy families do. You're in a relationship with Iris. _Not_ us."

"Caitlin _is_ like family to me. You and I could be friends too! We don't need to be in a love relationship for me to be a good father figure."

"Barry-"

"This is important. I'll be with our baby as often as possible and I'll help with everything! Iris even wants to throw a baby shower for you! Just let me help raise her." He pleads. Killer Frost can feel Caitlin's heart cracking.

 _Frost-_

 _'I know'_

 _... Please?_

 _'Ugh'_

"Er- fine. Let's see where this goes." Killer Frost sighs in defeat.

"Great!" Barry smiles widely, "I've actually got a name picked out!"

"Do you, now?" Killer Frost muttered.

"What do you think of Hope?"

"Hope? It's... nice. Caitlin likes the name Skye. I've chosen Crystal."

"Crystal?"

"You got a problem with that?" Killer Frost narrows her eyes.

"Wha- no!" Barry sputters.

"Good."

 **-(Time Jump)-**

"Hey, so Barry said it went well last night!" Iris says happily.

"Did he?" Caitlin asked, running a hand through her auburn hair.

"He also said he mentioned the baby shower I think we should throw?"

"He did."

"It'll be fun!" Iris grins, "Who do you want to invite-"

"There's been a meta attack!" Cisco hollers as he and the team hurry into the Cortex. Caitlin turns and faces the computers.

"They're at the Precinct!" She shouts. Barry and Wally take their suits and bolt from the room while Cisco jumps through a breach. Caitlin and the others watch through the security cameras.

 _'Is that-'_

 _It is!_ Caitlin gaped at what she saw.

 _'Claire?! We were going to help her! What happened?!'_

 _We weren't fast enough..._

 _'Is it too late?'_

 _No... but we have to get to work on that cure._ Caitlin watched as Claire hurled fireballs at her friends. Against Barry, Cisco, and Wally, Claire was defeated and thrown into the pipeline. Caitlin didn't dare go down to see her, fearing she would be busted for not telling the team about her.

"Cait!" Barry jogged into the Cortex.

"What? Are you hurt?" She asked worriedly.

"No, I was just wondering how you're feeling."

"How _I'm_ feeling?"

"...Yeah." Barry says awkwardly.

"I'm fine. Barry, you don't need to worry about me like this."

"Well, stress is bad for the baby and-"

"I wasn't stressed, I knew you could handle it." Caitlin says defensively.

"But-"

"She's fine, Allen." Julian walks into the Cortex, wrapping and arm around Caitlin's shoulders.

"Aliright." Barry sounded a bit disappointed, maybe because Caitlin was being so cold to him. She knew he cared and wanted to help, but she didn't want to be asked how she was feeling after every one of his missions. Barry leaves, muttering something about hearing Iris calling him.

"Thank you." Caitlin murmurs to Julian.

"No worries. That was going to get very ugly very fast." He chuckled.

"Probably." Caitlin smiled, before getting serious again, "Frost and I agreed to let him play a part in the baby's life... but he's being _so_ overprotective."

"I could see that."

"So... How's our newest prisoner?" Caitlin asked.

"She refuses to talk. We still don't know why she attacked."

 _'That's good. That means she hasn't said anything about us'_

 _Yeah, we're safe for now._

"Barry seems very excited to be a father." There was a hint of uneasiness in Julian's voice.

"Yeah, though I'll admit things would be simpler if he hadn't forced this."

"True." Julian chuckled nervously.

 _'Whats his deal?'_

"Are you okay?" Caitlin asked him with a frown.

"Yes, yes of course!" He hurries to say, "I best be getting to work. I can't be late, and neither can Allen. Where did he go..." Julian waves to her and walks away. She smiles weakly.

 _'Why was he acting like that?' Killer Frost wondered._

 _I dont know... He brought up Barry being her father and... Oh no._

 _'You don't think...'_

 _That he wanted to father her?_

* * *

 **Hello! How is everyone? I've gotten a few reviews asking for a conversation between Barry and Caitlin/Killer Frost about the baby. I thought I'd do that now, although as the pregnancy progresses there will definitely be more talks. Anyways! Have a good day! :D**

 **\- TopazStars**


	14. Authors Note!

**Wow, it really has been a long time! Um... hey everybody. Lol. If anyone still wants me to continue this, please let me know! A new Killer Frost fic may be on the way, though :)**

 **\- TopazStars**


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